I love how it ends! That last line is great! It's a lovely way of ending the poem. The flow is absolutely wonderful! It reads easily but not so I can breeze through it and not think ya know? I still stop to consider lines and all. This is great hun!

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I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.

*agrees with above person* this is great!

this is really good! I love it!

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I don't think God put me on this planet to judge others I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my leader.

ohh ahh.

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Smile all the time.

The ending is wonderful. Completely unexpected and abrupt, but wonderful. Choosing a rhyme scheme could really help this poem. The first stanza rhymes on the second and last line, but the second stanzma rhymes on the first and second line, and then the third stanza rhymes on the first and third line!

With rhyming poetry, the first set of rhymes creates a rhythm that the reader expects from the remaining piece. When that rhythm is changed, the flow is cut, and the reader loses focus. Maintaining a specific rhyme scheme throughou the poem allows the reader to maintain focus, and concentrate on the actual content of the poem.

In general, a very good poem, with the potential to be great.

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I can't believe you puked in my love.

To suppress art because it makes one think is to suppress thought itself.

This is really great. I love the tension between the desire to find and follow "this" and not wanting to get too close. The maids running through a maze is almost nightmarish, like one of those frustrating dreams you have where you can never quite get to them.

The imagery is obscure, in a way, but it's written simply and clearly so it reads well and gives the reader something to go on straight away. And the ryhme is good, i don't think the switch buggers up the reader at all, and i get the feeling it's intentional.

It's also kinda funny, with the last line and all. So have a favourite.

im honored, thank you

I quite liked this, but I feel that if I was more familar with T S Elliots work I might not like it, because you said you were trying to be like him. I think we should all strive to be ourselves and create our own styles, otherwise we all just blend in with each other instead of standing out as ourselves.

however it is good to use other's as inspiration and we all have people we look up to and admire...

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Well I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Completely surreal. The rhymes were predictable (I saw tulip coming ) but necessary when you consider just how strange the poem is. The terminal ending was great, just what was needed, very strong and definite. All in all, I liked this, even if the subject itself seems a little opaque...

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A storm is rising.